"I wouldn't give a puppy to someone I didn't know. I had to give my baby to people I had never met." ~annonymous

What a day.
I just had to come back and write my thoughts, if only for me. Today we went to a maternity home and orphanage in Pyongtaek. It is about an hour outside of Seoul. We toured the campus and then were privileged to have a question and answer time with about 20 of the young women who were living at the maternity home. It was humbling to listen to these young girls ask such poignant questions of our children. Here are a few of the questions they wanted answered by the children:

Are you happy?
Does it bother you that you don't look like your parents?
Do you ever feel angry at your birthmother?
Do you wish you had been able to stay in Korea?
Will you ever want to meet your birthmother or are you too angry, ashamed, frustrated, etc...?

There was not a dry eye in the entire chapel as we parents knew what they were asking--will my child ever forgive me and will my child ever want to remember me? A few of the kids were able to share that they thought of their birthmother's often...but only with curiosity, sometimes sadness, but rarely anger. They were able to express that they understood why they had to make such a difficult decision. Even as I write this, tears are streaming down my face as remember the anguish of one young woman who shared she had just relinquished her child and she felt so sad. She said it helped to see such happy families, but it still hurt.

The benefits to both the birthmothers and the adopted children in our group will never really be able to be measured as I am sure both parties will remember and ponder this day for a very long time. As I sat there listening, I imagined Kari and Austin's birthmom having to make an adoption plan and remembered Bethany's sharing how difficult it was and asking for forgiveness. Hopefully, we were able to convey that they needed no forgiveness but rather deserved honor for the deciscion they were compelled to make.

While things are slowly changing for unwed and single mothers, it is still a country that shuns them and rarely can they make a go of it. Usually they ended placing their children in an orphanage within a year. They will never get any family support because of the shame they have brought their family. If their children become orphans and not adopted, they will live their lives as lower class citizens. Orphans grow up and marry other orphans because in Korea it is so important to be able to trace your blood line and to have extended family. No one would marry a person who had no family.

We also spent some time in the orphanage. This is where children live whose parents cannot take care of them but do not want to relinquish their parental rights. The parents might come and visit the children 3 or 4 times a year, but they have no means of raising them. They are stuck in limbo. This too was so emotional. The children so badly wanted attention and cuddling. Thankfully, they enjoyed the attention...I worry more about those children who have emotionally shut down. I held a little baby boy and rocked him to sleep as he snuggled in to my body. I so desparately wanted to take him home! His future is so bleak.

Me snuggling the sleeping baby. Oh my! He was so sweet. And will probably live his life in this orphanage.

As you can imagine. the whole tour is exhausted. First file reviews, meeting foster mothers or birthmom, and then today. It is a good thing that tomorrow we head to the mountains for some rest and relaxation.

I am not the same after having witnessed this touching dialogue between the children we love and raised as our own, and the birthmoms who also will always love these children. And knowing that they probably wish everyday that they could have been the ones to raise the children they gave birth to was a real insight for our children. Perhaps it will make their journey through this process a little less confusing and more easy to accept.

Well, thanks for letting me ramble once again.

Communication is just as stimulating as black coffee and just as hard to sleep after. ~~~Ann Morrow Lindberg

Well, I have been here a week today and am really getting acclimated to the time difference, the people of Korea and the schedule of the trip. (However I am not used to being away from my family for so long!!) The families arrived last night looking soooo tired and pooped!
One family missed their connection in Chicago and they don't arrive until tonight. (Actually they should have landed by now and will be at the hotel in an hour.)

Today we got on the bus and headed to the traditional Korean Folk Village. It is a very cool place with traditional dancing, a mock traditional wedding and many other things of 19th century. It was only around 75 degrees with no sun but very, very humid.

I lead the Blue Bus, and we stay together pretty much the whole time. My bus has the families with the younger children on it. Many of the kids are 8, 9 and 10 years old. They have been very busy making friends and I am in love with all of them. Being the mom of
two teens and a twenty year old, this is a refreshing change!!

Tomorrow is the big day for many of the families and this comes after being here less than 48 hours. It is the day they head to the agencies that placed their children with them. It is such an exciting day. Many children will meet their foster mothers, a few young adults will meet birth family, and many will go to visit sites where they were born. An exhausting day as well. These meetings are really on my heart and mind as I know the precious gift it is to be able to meet with these people. I hope that communication will be comfortable and that what needs to be said isn't lost through translation.

What I pray I am really sensitive to are those who don't get to have a meeting with foster mothers or birthfamily or site visits (that happens because the sites have been torn down to put up high rise apartment buildings). Listening to all the excitement of others will be very tough. I am sure tomorrow will be a day that is like a "grande double-expresso" for many people, and sleep will not come real easy!

I have recieved emails from many of you wishing me luck and letting me know that you are praying. Thank you so much....God has been good and the trip is going really well.

If we did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves! ~~Thomas Edison

As I sit in this hotel and look out at the business district of Seoul, I really am astounded! I can't believe I did it! I was so worried/anxious about so many thing---the things Mike usually takes care of that I got to thinking I might not be able to do this. But with your prayers and God's help, I am here and it has been terrific.

We arrived about 24 hours ago after a looooooong flight! 12 1/2 hours of sitting in a small place with very little leg room. But I was seated next to 2 girls from Korea who had just spent the last 10 months in Minneapolis as exchange students. They were so sweet and really fun to talk with.
During the last half-hour they got so antsy--they were going to see their family again!

We met with the social workers today about family visits to the agency through which they wer adopted and the travel agent who set up the whole tour. This is a massive undertaking! I can't believe all that goes into it, and both the Korean manager and Pat (the manager of Korean Ties) are extremely organized and the meetings went very smoothly. We have 116 people on this tour, so keeping it organized and running smoothly will take tons of work!

The Holt travel agency took us for lunch. We sat at small tables on the floor that had built-in burners. A large pot was with very spicy soup stock was placed on the burner and all kinds of veggies were thrown in to cook. Then some dumplings and meat was thrown in. Later came a ton of noodles. We had had a late breakfast, so needless to say, we were stuffed. But it was pretty tasty! At first I thought it was too spicy, but then I got used to it and loved it! I am skipping dinner tonight!

Now we are back in our suite at the hotel and I am doing some other "busy work" that needs to be done. Everyone gets a gift here in Korea, and since the inspectors will unwrap presents that are packed in your suitcase, I am labeling and putting all kinds of gifts into gift bags.

Well, that's about it for now. Saturday we are going to watch our Korean manager play soccer!
Koreans are crazy for soccer and we thought that that would be fun.

More later~~
Peg

If you have zest and enthusiasm, you attract zest and enthusiasm. Life does give back in kind. ~~Norman Vincent Peale

I am so excited!!! Only 4 1/2 days until I leave!!

I just can't believe it's really going to happen! I have received 2 emails from other staff members and we are just getting so excited. We have decided to make up little goody bags for the 4th of July. We are filling them with the flag wrapped Tootsie Rolls, Red Licorice and probably DumDum suckers! Things from home that you can't get in Korea. We think that will be a fun way to start the day, not nearly as exciting as Fireworks, but hey--

(Other types of candy are readily available. Our family hit the Seven-Eleven that was attached to the hotel every evening before bed and stocked up on Snickers, Milky Ways, and the other candy that is unique to Korea!!)

I am even getting excited for what we fondly call the "Fear Factor Buffets". (We didn't make that up, another family did and it stuck!!) Because we have to feed 120 people, we usually eat buffet style. But....you just don't know what you are getting! The meats, veggies, soups all look very, very different. I was not real adventuresome last time but I hope to try just a few more things this time. (But I have already packed my granola bars, just in case!!)

Mike has written out detailed instructions on how to get connected with the Internet, how to upload pictures onto this blog, and any other "techie" thing I might need to know. I hope I can update you a few times and share some pictures with you!!

Please keep me in mind Tuesday as I have a small window of time to get to the international terminal once I land in Chicago. I am nervous about that!

Lastly, thank you for sharing this process with me. This will be the last blog until I get to Korea. I hope to be able to access it from there and keep you all updated on the trip, but thanks for sharing my excitement along the way.

Also, please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers while I am gone. I am really gonna miss them. I put a picture of them here. (Mainly it was a practic run for me to learn how to upload pictures, but it can be a reminder for you to think of them as well!)

Peg

PS. By the time you get notice of this it will only be 2 1/2 days! My plane flies out of GR at 10:33am Tuesday, June 20th.

When you discover your mission, you will feel it's demand. It will fill you with enthusiam and a burning desire to get to work.---W. Clement Stone

I cannot believe that tomorrow marks one week until I leave for Korea. I am just so excited to get going! I feel like I have really enjoyed the "journey" of planning, but now...I want to get to work!! I have that burning desire. June 20th can't come soon enough.

Things have changed greatly since I first planned on going. The head of the program, and founder of Korean Ties, is unable to come with us. In April it was discovered that her 14 year old son has Leukemia--both ALL and AML. She has been by his side and will stay there.

So....things have changed. I feel a greater burden to be more helpful. When I talked to the other program director, the one I will be rooming with, she sounded just a bit (!) frazzled. I am just so excited to get there and help her out. My hands are tied here in Michigan. Although, I did help out by finding a website from which we ordered 13 mens ties to give as gifts to the presidents of orphanages, agencies, and such.

(A cultural note: In Korea, gift giving is as common as a handshake is here in the States. Basically, if you spend more than 12 minutes with someone and they do anything at all to help you out, they need to get a gift. And then, it is important to give the gift with your RIGHT hand, or better yet, both hands. This is their custom and it is important to respect that. Even when giving change back in a store, it is best to use your right hand.)

Mike is busy getting me technically ready. I have an i-pod for music on the plane and other times. I have a computer with 20 hours of Raymond, Cosby, Law and Order, and Tool Time on it. I still have to learn how to upload pictures to this blog and store lots of pictures on the computer. In the meantime, I have started freezing meals, cleaning rooms, and making lots of lists to help him get everything done that needs to be done.

So...it's only 7 little days! And I can't wait.

Thanks for sharing my excitement!
Peg